Monday, July 20, 2009

nursing a bruised knee and ego

yesterday's Globe Run For Home was a special run for me.

the day started kinda like any race day. i had some takbo members to wake me up to make sure i get there on time, i had my 'runs' the week prior to the race. i did my usual day before race rituals,(rest at home, chillax lang, then go to mass sa gabi, etc). so far so good. well, i added to the ritual pala yung hanging out at second wind, and took a mid afternoon nap while watching DLSU getting beat by FEU (super boring talaga to kaya ako nakatulog siguro hahahaha).
tas since di ako maka tulog, nag net muna ako and usap sa phone :) nothing bad naman about that diba? (kasi nga natulog ako ng hapon) :)

so there, ok naman pag dating sa race venue, ok na sana kasi walang traffic etc, pero ung intended parking space behind ROX was dedicated daw to VIPs, tas sobrang nag traffic ung paikot to the other side as the other runners were either tinatamad mag isip, OR walang idea san pa pwede pumunta to park.

as soon as i got there, met up with ellen & bong to do 1 round warm up sa BHS. ok naman sha. feeling ko ok ako kasi nakapag CR na naman ako, tas nag wiwi na rin ako before the race started din. so ayos pa, so far so good :)

everything was going normally as soon as the race started. was initially pacing with bongz, ellen & migz, super bilis group diba? pero sige lang kaya pa naman eh. unti unting naubos din ung mga kasabayan ko, kasi it was either i was thinking i can always catch up with them at the later stages and/or feeling ko tinatamad na ko to be competitive at that point of the race so ako, chill running lang.

so there, so cut the long story short, i was not that "confident" in myself during the race. or siguro even before. :) ang yabang ko kasi after milo and after finding out carlo (hydraice) was 2:17 sa cebu, i said to myself, if carlo can do it, i should also be able to do that too! sabi ko pa, target ko si carlo during the race, pero un nga. hindi ko nagawa. PLUS sumama pa lalo ung time ko from MILO (2:23:33) naging 2:26:xx.

all throughout the race, wala namang nag bobother sa mind ko, actually, mabilis pa ako. feeling ko papatak ung time ko na 2:20 or less if i didn't take as much walk breaks as i did yesterday. since i started becoming serious with these long distance races, i've been known not to take as much walk breaks as possible (a combination of bongz's school or speed and my own decision na rin) pero yesterday was different. even though other runners were passing by me, i knew i'm still ok, it just so happened din siguro that no one was pacing with me, the other people i initially intended to go with were either way in front of me na, OR way behind me pa. so medyo ako ung gitna, and in my mind, i thought it was okay. not for me. i felt like i was doing the run half-baked, that deep down i know i can go faster or better (than what i got).

i'm actually happy for most of the takbo.ph peeps who were able to outrun me at this race (docT, rod, gab, meron pa bang hindi ko nabati?) they were really focused on the race, and that they were able to overcome the tamad factor which i had during the race :( initially i thought pacing with a triathlete girl was ok (as she was doing walk breaks often too!) i tried imitating her pace, but as i've learned at the end, it was stil best to stick to one's game plan rather than trying to go with other's flow.


after the race, medyo na sad pa rin ako sa results ko. i was with a friend making kwento what happened during the race over lunch,and un, di naman pa kasi sha ganon into running as much as i am so parang effort din on her part to "understand' ung scenario (pero her efforts to try and cheer me up were very well much appreciated naman, sobra :) ) she even said na parang ang competitive ko daw naman mashado sa running na tipong obvious kasi na i was not my 'usual self' that afternoon, na bad trip ako sa run ko kahapon. the roles were reversed that lunch time kasi usually ako ung parating sinasabihan nya ng concerns nya pero this time ako ung kinocomfort. (okay din pala magpa comfort eh :) i think i should do this more often? hahaha)

so while waiting for my friend to get off work, i was texting another friend who has been there naman whenever saddened or sobrang elated with my race results. i just texted her lang na the result for me was panget/ not what i would have wanted, etc. we talked about it and as always made me realize things like, sa mga ganitong bagay, its better to start the race AND finished it with no injuries, etc na bonus na lang ung time/ PR.

as we were talking about it (text and usap) i accepted naman na the facts na for one, i should have trained more for this run. i was too cocky to think that i can manage it without much running (actually i still believe i could have, if i didn't walk as much). and pride na rin pushed me to go beyond what i know i can do (beyond in a panget sense ah, kasi given na i was not able to run as much as i SHOULD have done for this distance). she made me realize that starting and finishing this half mary was itself an achievement, something which i didn't really pay much attention to at that time kasi feeling ko ang olats ko to go slower than my last 21k time. also parang tinamad ako in the middle of the race kasi wala akong kasabayan (other than kay triathlon girl na for sure eh parang nag LSD lang nung the whole thing). sabi rin ni friend, there is no such thing as a "bad run" :) only KEY lessons learned :) and for this race, here are the learnings i've had:

1) lessen your PRIDE
- it doesn't automatically translate na if someone "bigger" than you can do it, you can also. training is the key. and during this race i sure am lacking in this department :)
- training also is needed in order to achieve things. small steps lead to big leaps :) and talking about something and doing something about it are two different things. one must be able to back up what they say (and if they can't back it up, then learn to accept it and swallow their pride :) )

2) APPRECIATE the distance
- time and time again, i hear people say "respect the distance." in my case naman, i do respect the distance kaya lang, baka sa sobrang yabang ko eh ang kinalabasan eh si distance kinda 'shamed me' (lola ganush, is that you?)
- its not that i didn't respect the distance, its more of, i wasn't able to APPRECIATE the distance. as was mentioned by a friend, the achievement here is that i was able to start and finish the race safely and injure-free.

3) think HAPPY THOUGHTS/ GOOD VIBES
- i've always been an advocate of running with happy thoughts. for me, happy thoughts give that sudden urge to go faster, to finish the race, to break that PR, or even to make sure that i won't be the last to cross the finish line. during this race, i was not able to do that as much as i've wanted to. this might be similar to "going back to basics." for some, it might be correcting their form, their stride, breathing, etc. pero for me, its more of having happy thoughts at the start of the race :) until the end. happy thoughts are not limited to 'happy" moments, but also, it can be events or people that you'd want to see at the end of the finish line. tipong something you want to be with agad, kaya ka din mag pursue to go faster. in this case, parang wala akong nilook forward towards the finish line. wala pang intrinsic reward for myself upon reaching the finish line.
- happy thoughts can also provide you with the needed push to sprint it out to the finish line. happy thoughts can be done through friends who encourage you to go all out when you are having doubts with yourself. with this race, riezl (ey monks!) was able to urge me to go run to the finish line na when we bumped into each other sa may bago mag fully booked kasi i was disheartened na to finish strong kasi ang lagpas ko na sa target ko of finishing shorter time sana than my previous run (or kahit same time man lang sana).
-happy thoughts can ba as simple as a cheer, a pat on the back or simply a smile from a friend who can make you want to go faster.

4) the need for a GF.

14 comments:

  1. Nice lessons, kenko runner. I've always liked the Happy Thoughts philosophy. As for lesson #4, it will come. Haha.

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  2. GF? G=garmin? or G=girl?

    you know what i did sa race? i was suppose to run 2 races yesterday (5K sa UP, then 10K sa FORT). but when carina told me that myk is not going to run his 21K because of a family emergency and neil handed me myk's bib. i said.. why not. =)

    the race was full of first for me too. i have no hydration with me, i was not wearing my cap, i have no shades on, i don't have my mp3 player with me. i just decided to run the 21K and dedicated it to myk & his in-law. =)

    so there, try to dedicate your runs with someone special pare and don't think about the race too much. =)

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  3. @rix: thanks! hehehe

    @rod: yun nga siguro nagkulang for this race. parang panget ng feeling to run just for oneself, walang mag pupush to further run when your mind tells you to stop na muna. urbanite will be a different race though :) inspired by the elixir na by then :)

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  4. I did remember you wanted me to visit your site but never did until now. I like the way you write. Galing sa puso. It's like "scuba diving" within yourself and discover both good and bad. With humility to accept defeat yet still has the positive outlook not only in running but in life in general. An admirable trait. Carry on!

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  5. Ooops! Erratum: ... "not only in running but life in general" instead of ... but life in life in... :D

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  6. Very nice entry Tim, I admire your candor and bluntness in relaying your experience. I am in the same boat,competitiveness can either bring you success or a big letdown. Oftentimes we may end up forgetting the joy of the whole thing. That's okay, you will come back strong and you will set that PR without you even noticing. You can do it man. At least you came out of it relatively unscathed, hehe. Congrats on the finish man and nice entry.

    Cheers,
    Luis

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  7. take me to a happy place, tim. :P hehehe pang gulo lang.

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  8. yup, those were good lessons indeed, timmy. don't fell bad about what happened yesterday. =) look at it this way... at least may natutunan ka di ba? and that will make you a stronger (and faster) runner in the process. =)

    defeat can be a driving force in many aspects of life. don't look back on it a lot - instead, use it as a stepping stone for improvement. =)

    kaya mo yan timmy! keep on running! =D

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  9. nag-comment na ako sa multiply mo :) alam mo na yun :) hehee :D

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  10. Hey Timmeee, I'm glad to read your "lessons learned" from running. Echoing what Running Shield said "Running will make you a better person". I didn't get it at first, only now am I starting to understand what he meant. I agree with Rod don't think about it too much, just run! Sabi nga niya, "ang hindi tumakbo, pangit!" Haha!

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  11. hi kenkoy! hehehe katuwa talaga blog mo ha parang feeling ko nandun ako kapag you make kwento (u know!)... well my friend I like lesson #1, all I can say is each and everyone of us has our own race to finish.. #4 will come soon =D

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  12. 4) the need for a GF.

    Umm...lesson ba ito?

    When we run, we look forward to something. But in the course of doing so, we also tend to forget to look back. I think, while it is admirable that you have set a certain goal which was to target Carlo, you focused too much on that task that you forgot everything else you have achieved, may it be in this race or during the course of your “running career.” We do aspire to be in a certain level or within the league of the extraordinary. But that does not mean that we deviate from putting our feet on the ground and realizing who we are today. And, Tims, today is a product of every running day put together (and maybe also a few of those times wherein the comfort of your bed got the best of you).

    Read this: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-332--12831-0,00.html

    Tapos ‘wag na yung GF na yan…if you think about it, the money for that can be worth around 2 pairs of shoes with change for a couple or evenaz a few cases of beer. Masaya ka na sa mga sapatos, may mga kaibigan ka pang laseng. Hahaha!

    Ingat man.

    Migs

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  13. Tim, those are good words of running wisdom you've just listed. I agree with all of them.

    On Humility...We all need to realize that there is always somebody faster and stronger than us. If we currently own the marathon or 100meter world record, somebody someday would still break it. So let's all be down to earth. Ikaw naman Timmy, mukhang humble din :-)

    Respecting the distance - all distances (even middle distance) can be difficult, if you run it really hard. The 2nd hardest race (the first being milo 42K) I've ever run is 800meter race (2laps in the oval). I've run it so hard that it hurts like hell. If you just chillax a marathon and finish it in more than 6hours, you can still run the next day, but you will not appreciate and experience the real spirit of the marathon if you don't give it your best.

    GF - you don't really need this but technology has given us a great tool for the modern era. So why not use it. Sayang naman. As for the price, it's up to you to prioritize or de-prioritize it.

    Happy thoughts - Kenkoy runner ka nga! No comment! Hehehe...

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  14. Well said Timmy! Sometimes we just have to learn the hard way.. growing pains. I know you'll come out stronger. Woohoo!!!

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