during the first and only run for the week for milo half, i was a bit dissatisfied with the way i ran. last tuesday, we had 16K covered, and for some weird reason, this cloud of self-doubt was hovering over me. i felt i had a bad run during my (one and only) practice run for the week. sobrang drained ako that day (well for the week actually). during my usual runs, i would normally be happy during the run, but that time, there was something bothering me, something i can't pinpoint yet (or something i don't want to pinpoint yet). at first, i didn't want to harbor on that thought, na sobrnag bad run for me kasi ang bilis kong napagod, na hindi ako maka focus as compared to my usual runs, tas to top it all, work has been hectic (or should i say, mas focused ako na sa work ehehehe) kaya medyo na out of focus sa runs.
throughout the week, my thoughts were focused on that, on that "one bad run." i was not able to get over that thought tipong until the saturday night eh i was still not that confident with myself, that i was still focused on that one incident that i felt, might predict how my milo half mary would be. add to this the fact that, i was to pace with a friend who i know was a halimaw runner (someone who runs super fast and super strong!) during the milo support group meeting while we were discussing the strategy for the 21K, some of my friends were wondering why i was still having doubts about myself; why i was thinking too much of the race even when i have been able to cover the said distance already in the past.
when i went to mass saturday night (kasi for sure di ko na naman kakayanin mag simba after race because of either 1. post race lakad or 2. post race wasakan moment), i was trying to look for something na inspiring, something to lift my spirit up or something to help me change my outlook for the milo race. as i was in mass, i texted a very good friend and told her that i was afraid/nervous, and that i was uneasy. she asked me why i was scared, etc, and i told her about my concern. initially she thought that it was because of the cutoff time. I told her it was not that, but it was because of what happened during tuesday's run and that of the twenty one plus ten. she replied, without batting an eyelash, that "bad runs don't predict the next, ok?" i told her na, parang im not sure if i can do it nga ba talaga, do run a half mary, and then comeback to pace a friend during the last 10K of his full mary.
this daunting task was somewhat making me think about my capabilities for the said race, and it was also going to be my longest distance ran if ever.
so, there. we texted etc etc, she gave her insights, etc. so medyo kumeri na ako, na sige, kaya ko to. while i was packing my stuff, huma happy thoughts at gumu-good vibes na ako ulit :) so there, chumichillax mode na ako kahit na di ko pa rin ma gets ung GF ni pat na ilang araw gabi ko nang pinaglalaruan, hindi ko pa rin mahuli ung kiliti, so sabi ko, bahala na, gagamitin ko na lang din si old reliable timex ko for my timing purposes. bahala na si pace hahaha :) so there, before i slept, i did my usual pre-race day messages and texts etc and then i went to sleep na rin.
race day proper, i was not really able to eat much for breakfast despite being up by around 2:30 eh ung oatmeal ko eh umapaw so there, tinamad nako mag gawa ng bago :) dumating ako sa mcdo ng maria orosa (shempre di ko na i kwento dito ung part na somekinda nawala ako sa manila area dahil di ko alam ung lugar diba, nakaka anti-climactic naman ng dating nun), na nag peprepare na ung the rest of the 21K peeps, after a few minutes, team logan arrived and we had a short prayer. sobrang at this point, gumu-good vibes na ako for the run. hindi ko na gaanong iniisip ung nangyari the past week so as to focus on the race itself. while waiting for the the gunstart, eh i called up a friend who was to have her first run ever, i made her kamusta lang, asked her whereabouts, pampa kalma lang ba sa akin, ganon lang :) she was ok na naman, and the race was about to start din, so there, babay, then focused na ulit sa race.
during the race, i had to pee again, so iniwan na ako ng pacemate ko dapat. i guess that became a blessing in disguise na rin as i was able to go about my usual pace, AND at the same time, test myself if i can really push myself til the end, na wala akong kasama (pero technically kasabayan ko si edu dun sa second half. hehehe)
in fairness, i was able to finish the race with a decent time, AND a new PR at that. I wasn't really expecting my time to be that "fast" kasi nga ang init na nung second half, pero sa awa ng diyos at sa mga inspirinng people eh, natapos ko din naman sha ng matiwasay.
special thanks to the support group peeps, lalo na ang buendia station (kasi dun lang ako umabot hehehehe). sobrang refreshing ng feeling at nakaka recharge ng energy pagdaan kanina sa station nila, may saging, towel, drinks, etc :) para shang pag daan mo dun, additional batt life sa takbo, na feeling mo nadagdagan ka ng lakas (buti na lang dalawang times ako napadaan dun wehehehe) thanks ulit girls and guys! :) (sayang walang massage tulad nung botak 100K hehehehe)
i was able to finish the race unofficially at 2:24:18.
after that i waited for my fellow plus TEN pacers before we attempted to meet up with the 42K runners at ideally sa Kalayaan station, pero we were late na, so sa buendia station na lang kami nag abang. before going to the buendia station, people were already commending us for having enough strength to "go back" and push the last 10K of the 42K runners. initially parang i was thinking twice about it na rin, but since i've committed myself to the cause, and promised that i'd be pacing towards the end, i rested for a while before attending my call of duty :)
i don't know if they'd noticed it but i was kinda nursing my right knee na when i got sa buendia aid station, medyo sumakit kasi ulit :( pero keri lang, kasi chill pace lang kami ni rod when he arrived sa buendia. so bale ung twenty one plus ten eh naging five na lang :)
this milo half mary has given me more than what i'd expect from myself. for one, it made me realize again that i can do what i put my mind into. it made me realize that no matter what others might say, it always boils down to ME deciding and acting upon things for it to work to what i have in mind. it made me realize that even if i need others, it would be up to me to maximize what they've shared to me and use it to my advantage.
as my dear friend leaves for a month, it would also be a transitional stage for me. i've gotten used to talking to her about everything under the sun for almost every day, and this trip of hers would be a challenge na rin for me to be more "independent". actually this "independence trip" of hers will open up new beginnings, and realizations. (great things start from small beginnings...) hahaha ;)
thanks friend! :D for the motivation and the inspiration :D
(don't forget my pasalubong, ayt?)
wag ka mag alala, pag balik mo madaming kwento :) lalo na you still owe me coffee, (pwede rin tsoko.nut and esaymada, okay?)
will miss you! :(
enjoy and good luck! galingan nyo! :)
see you soon!